Ghost Warning

“IZZY!! ARE YOU READY!!” I yelled, “NEARLY!” she replied. She walked out of her room wearing a mermaid costume and her candy bag while I was wearing a Dracula costume.

As we headed out the door I felt a shiver down my spine then walked to town. Translucent people walked past,

“Nice costume, sir” I complimented to one, but he turned and whispered,

“Thank you, but it is not. I am a ghost. You two must leave or suffer a death by sprits or worse,by the Underworld king,” the man whispered as he brushed his hand over our foreheads then Izzy passed out, after she did, I was the same…

 

2 thoughts on “Ghost Warning”

  1. you put Izzy passed out she did maybe leave the she did other that I enjoyed it and great punctuation

  2. I like your take on the ghost theme- its a bit different from others. Mermaid and Dracula costumes sound awesome.
    I think sometimes you have two many commas in sentences- next time you write, try to break them up or use more connectives.

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